So we like to arrive about an hour early to each session we do, especially if it's a new location we're not terribly familiar with. We take a look around, become acquainted with the space, light, architecture, landscape, limitations, and exciting photo opportunity finds. On this delightful evening a few months back, we were also enjoying taking some photographs of the setting. It was a beautiful one! There was a sweet little lillypad pond and fountain in the center of a beautiful little garden. I decided I wanted a photo of the lillypads. So I took this...
Great, moving right along. I make my way over to get a little closer to the base of a beautiful old tree with great limbs. I walked through the garden, on the brick pathways, to my destination. No problems, just strolling through a garden. Ah... that's a shot I'd like to try. Click...
Ok, that's kinda nice but I wanted to get closer to the base of the tree and shoot up into the branches. So I re-direct my stroll into the grass. I take about 6 steps towards the tree's trunk, flipping and flopping in my Reefs. I glance down for a moment and I see that I'm one step away from stepping on someone's toy, rubber snake. "Who on earth would leave a fake black snake in the grass out here? Ha! Silly kids". Then the rubber snake lifted it's head up to my waist line and hissed. Um...
This is a photo of me standing on a bench, clinging to the safety of a few feet off the ground. I made it here in 3.7 seconds. I screamed like I was auditioning for a horror film the length of my sprint. I'm sure I scared the hell out of anyone within a 5 mile radius of where we were shooting.
I ALMOST STEPPED ON A SNAKE!
Now, allow me to explain how my brain worked in those moments before the rubber snake moved. The human mind is a wonderful machine. Mine actually decided to not let me realize the snake was real. My brain processed this visual of a 4 foot long black snake in the grass, as a toy that someone accidently left behind. It knew I could handle that scenario. It knew I couldn't handle the reality. Now... this state of denial lasted just a couple of seconds before that darn rubber snake stood up and hissed at me, but for those two seconds I was still ok. I'm not sure if I appreciate my brain tricking me like that or not. The fact is, I was going to realize the snake was real sooner or later. So I would have appreciated a quicker reaction time to make my getaway BEFORE I pissed the snake off. Thanks brain, but let's work together from now on.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention I'm not a big fan of snakes. Now I'm trying to be cool here, because if I were being honest I'd be telling you I despise them. They're awful. Snakes are terrible, terrible things, and I have no idea why they need to live anywhere near me.
After standing on that bench for a good 20 minutes (I'm so serious), Mom finally talked me down, assuring me the snake had gone off under a bush and was settling in for a long nap. He wouldn't "get me". Plus we still had a photo shoot to get ready for. Time to put on my big girl pants and pull it together.
So with Mom's help on lookout, I quickly made my way to one of the bigger buildings surrounding us... flailing my arms saying "ew ew ew" the whole way. (Nice visual huh? Well it's accurate)
Time for more light tests. I managed to get one shot in before my own personal horror story continued.
Then I looked up...
That snake was following me.
No he was... he really was.
How this was possible I'm not sure. But I am positive he knew what he was doing.
Here are some more photos of my new friend...
Oh great... he's getting closer.
Now I started to throw a real hissy fit. I had to get out of there. I remember saying "Mom, Mom... MOM! This is not ok... NOT ok!".
Here is a view from my perch of safety. I ran up the steps to this building (arms flailing, squealing), and waited for Mom to tell me where he went. "It's ok" she said, "he's almost down now and it looks like he's going back under the bush".
Ok, then I'll just wait for that to happen.
Nope. Not the bush. Didn't happen. That sucker followed me still.
Think I'm kidding?
Look at him! What on earth is going on here?!
This was the last photo I took. At this point I was void of all common sense. I was in survival mode, and snapping photos was no longer essential. I began to panic and yell. Mom did her best not to laugh at me. He went right by her, paying her no attention, because he was so determined to get to me.
I do wish I had taken more photos of him, because you would have been able to see what he did next. He was CLIMBING THE STAIRS. My heart almost came out of my chest as I watched him slowly slither over the hump of the bottom step. He made his way up to the first step, hid under the lip of the step above him, and slowly moved into the garden to the left. Eventually I could spot him far enough away from me, and I felt safe enough to come down from my hiding place.
Sure, black snakes in Southern Maryland are everywhere. They're harmless, and won't really hurt you. "They're more afraid of you than you are of them" is something I've been told a lot. Well this genius snake has proved you all wrong. He knew exactly who I was, and he wanted to scare the living ____ out of me. Well snake friend, bravo. It worked.
How'd the rest of the session go? Well it went just fine actually. Never saw him or another snake the rest of the shoot. That's probably because I chose not to look for any. I had a job to do, I had Mom as my snake look out, and as soon as we started shooting I forced myself to pull it together.
I will however be writing a screen play. "Snakes on a Photo Shoot". Look for it next summer. ;)
Have a great Monday guys, and watch where you're walking. You never know where someone will leave a rubber snake.
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